Who Is Responsible For My Life Anyway?

By January 10, 2010Uncategorized

Who is Responsible For My Life Anyway?

You Mean It’s Up To Me?

The only person responsible for the quality of your life is you.

For many of us, our initial response to adversity, is to search for someone or something other than ourselves to blame.  When life throws down it’s challenges or we are not satisfied with specific areas of our lives, we try to blame our parents, our boss, our job, the economy.  It has to be somebody else’s fault!  When obstacles arise, or we are deeply challenged in some way, we put our clear thinking and better judgment aside, and cast about for a place to offload responsibility for the mess we find ourselves in. Rather than examine how we may have contributed to our current situation, we spend inordinate time and energy looking for ways to absolve ourselves of responsibility for our own lives!

Your happiness and success in this life is your responsibility.

To achieve your desired results, you must believe that you have the power to make it different.  You must clearly understand that outside factors do not prevent you from achieving your goals. You do!  It is a mistake to make other people responsible for your feelings and behaviour.  We engage in destructive behaviours such as smoking, drinking, spending too much money, and not asking for what we want.  You smoked the cigarette, you drank the wine, you blew your whole paycheck, and you didn’t clearly articulate what you wanted.  It is nobody else’s fault.

If you don’t like the results you’re getting, it is time to considering changing your responses.  If you want a different result, you need to respond in a different way.  Taking responsibility for our lives allows us to choose new responses to old situations.  Most of us react in predictable, habitual ways.  By always reacting the same way to a situation, we are not consciously choosing our behaviour.  We get stuck in our habitual responses to our partners, our children, our colleagues,and then wonder why nothing ever changes.  In order to regain control over our responses, we need to ensure that each choice we make is a mindful one that reflects what we want from our lives right now.

Successful people take action to achieve their desired outcomes.  Inaction is also a form of relinquishing responsibility.  Allowing things to happen, remaining passive, and not doing what is necessary to create what you want, will not create your desired result.  If you don’t maintain your car (inaction) you cannot blame the car when you are left stranded on the side of the road.  Inaction can be as destructive as habitual responses that are ineffective.

The hard part, of course, if that if you want a better outcome, such as a better job a more loving relationship, or higher sales; then you have to change.  Change is hard.  It involves risk and fear, it’s uncomfortable and uncertain.  Change can cost money, time and energy.  The choice becomes staying where you are and accepting life as it is, where it is safe and comfortable.  The alternative is to take action to achieve your desired outcome.

Action might begin with some self-reflection that involves asking yourself; how did I contribute to that?  What were my beliefs on this issue?  What do I need to do differently?  What is working?  What isn’t working? What did I do or not do to create this situation?

Successful people take responsibility for their lives.  They act in ways that produce more of what they want and less of what they don’t want. They respond mindfully to situations and avoid reacting in habitual patterns.

The quality of your life is up to you.  It is your responsibility!

647-295-0350